Cruel World

I just want to go home, to  place filled with love family and friends that provides security love and acceptance. i can’t find that place because it doesn’t exist, or it never has for me. I was raised with a family filled with dysfunction and jealousy and hate , A family torn to shreds because they were not raised with love encouragement and acceptance. I cry each day for what could if been but never was and can never be feasible, I tried to provide love acceptance and encouragement stability to my own children to provide them with every opportunity and to instill every positive reinforcement  and encouragemnt for them. But despite all my efforts were futile with the devastating death of my first child and the loss of my 4 and half-year old daughter ripped from my arms only to be hidden by vengeful people for years, Though she searched for me when she was 18 she was filled with anger hate and resentment as she had been taught to hate me and to believe lies about me. I tried in life, I graduated college and pursued my dream of being  television News reporter with much success but some negative decisions to to pursue and find love and make a family backfire as I chose the same man that acted just like my mother , A woman that never demonstrated love and never was on your side and who only wanted to put me down as a loser and worthless human being, i dreamed of love and family and closeness and people that support each other unconditionally, I married a man that was just like my mom, abusive, he degraded me called me a wothless cunt and made me feel ugly and useless , He also resorted to physical violence and intimidation, he destroyed my life, along with my narcissist sister, truly a sociopath that worked together to destroy the amazing bond and relationship I experienced with my baby girl Brianna. Hate and evil overcome love. i was filled with love so deep and intense with my daughter, Brianna , a bond that seemed unbreakable. Her needs were always my priority and I loved and protected her with my life, But she was ripped from my loving arms with the help and lies of a crazy bi polar schizophrenic ex husband and the most evil narcissist sociopath, my sister They plotted and worked tirelessly to get my child taken away from me. Diana wanted to take her from me, for her own sick agenda and it backfired and she was sent to a father who had not seen her or been a part of her life since she was an infant. At almost five she was sent to live with her bilologicl dad a man that had not seen her in 4 yrs and never paid a dime for child support, And sent to a step mother that hated me and used my child for her own agenda against me, They hid her from me despite the fact that my parental rights were still in full effect. I made attempts to see her they refused and would move so I coud not find them to assert my rights. the pin lingers n fr years it nver ends, I grieve her as much  i grieve the child of mine that died. Now my ex husband re writes history and make up false stories to make him be perceived as the victim and hero, He  was extremely abususive throwing a chair that hit his 3 year old daughter, Cherish, He pee on my bed, broke all my belongings on a regular basis. he called me a worthless cunt and looser everyday, He  became physicaly violent at times, one time punching the crap out of me another time kicking me very hard in the face leaving major bruises n my face. I moved away from him and the coutrs issued many retring order md he was arreste 15 times for domestic violence but now he uses the internet to attack me and defame my character with writing completely fictitious  stories about me and my kids,,all lies, slander as his way of seeking revenge upon me, Brianna found me when she was eighteen but was filled with anger resentment and had been filed with lies and fallacies about me, She accepted my money and gifts and photos of her life with me then cut me off claiming i had not changed, yet she never even saw me in person only judged by what her family, step mom nd dad lied about me she never questions their facts, She will get married Saturday and I wont go becuse she didn’t invite me and refused to her invite her two siblings that I raised alone and who love me and are greatly bonded with me. She can’t deal with them because they have the facts that I was a really good mom and she refuses to hear that. Besides her step mom and dad tell her they will cut her out of their family if she pursues a relationship with me and her siblings. Life is unfair and cruel

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About taraogradyblog

Journalist, writer & mom. Former TV Reporter @KTVN & @YourAKLink. UNR graduate. News & Political junkie. Mom to 3 amazing young adults. I am an a adventurous, compassionate and complicated woman. I have a deep abiding concern and interest on an array of issues. I consider myself to be an advocate for the underdog and have a great disdain for injustice. I work my best under pressure and deadlines and am adaptable and versatile. I enjoy politics, history and journalism. I love to write and enjoy a good debate. Music, writing, journalism, politics and dance play an integral part of my life! I have worked in both broadcast and print journalism, reporting for numerous small to medium market television news departments. Started as an intern becoming a news reporter for KTVN (Reno) and as a general assignment T.V. News Reporter in Fairbanks Alaska. In 1983 one of my package news stories was purchased by and aired on CNN. I have reported on a wide variety of stories, including crime, disasters, politics, legal, social, and issues of justice. Covered heartwarming stories that demonstrate the strength and spirit of people facing adversity. I have received numerous accolades and awards for my investigative pieces. I have reported on a wide range of stories including women's issues, the latest medical breakthroughs such as the artificial heart, major political campaigns, critical environmental issues to the lighter side of news such as the Reno Hot Air Balloon Races, the Air Shows and even a bathtub race down the Truckee River!! I have also pursued my print writing career, publishing numerous articles for various newspapers and periodicals. I continue to write blogs and sometimes write for newspapers on a free lance basis and am working towards my ultimate goal to finish my book! In between journalism jobs, I have worked in many other areas, Pre- Kindergarten Teacher, Camp Counselor, Cocktail Waitress, Bartender, An extra acting in the movies and production assistant on many major motion pictures filmed in Las Vegas, Marketing work, Black Jack Dealer and computer work. I have also had some legal training, as part of a para legal certification program and I am adept at social media an marketing. I created and operate a youtube page with over 1000 subscribers and almost a million video views (All videos which I produced). I created and operate a FB page which has reached 10,000 likes without spending a dime on advertising, all promotions were done exclusively by me. Last but not least: Raised my kids, (job I am most proud of). I have three wonderful children, 2 girls and a boy, each has made me a very proud mom. They range in age from 21-27. I had a fourth child that died, but she lives in my heart and I will never forget her for a moment. I also have two beautiful grand children, Aiden 7 years and Lucy 4. My children are the most important part of my life and my role as a mother the most crucial! I tried and continue to attempt to provide a loving, nurturing, positive and encouraging environment. I have also volunteered for the Big Brother/Big Sister Organization, the Salvation Army, the SIDS Organization & on a few political campaigns. I also volunteered, for promotional and public relations work for a variety of non profit organizations. You can follow me on Twitter: Follow @TaraLOGrady
This entry was posted in domestic violence, abuse, loss of children, Patrick Sullivan, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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